Recently, when everyone else just turned a day older, I
turned a BIG milestone older. Sort of
equivalent to Armstrong’s moon-walking feat: “One small step for man, one giant
leap for mankind”! And to top it off, someone had the audacity to ask me the
dreaded question, “So how does it feel like?”
I guess when you are younger, you are curious and stupid. So this is to satisfy her, and the rest of you who are smarter but still curious.
getting older is all about:
spend your birthday braving Grade 3 and 4 whitewater rapids to prove to yourself that you are still
young. (trading in the lavender oil massage for a Bengay one, post facto.)
don’t reveal your birthdate on Facebook so as to avoid responding to the “So
how old are you today?” question.
start believing in the “40s is the new 30s” adage.
are either undergoing a mid-life crisis or starting an alternate career (or both).
eat healthier but are bigger than you ever were.
blame your weight gain on hormones or convince yourself that bigger is better.
get a hangover just by looking at the alcohol and an upset tummy by looking at
the French fries (and avoid them under the pretext of detox).
don’t miss any chance to make intelligent conversation or Facebook comments
about economy and politics.
profile pictures always get a photoshop makeover. (And you consider apps like
makeup.pho.to, and Facetune real innovation!)
10. You are
receiving Botox and Viagra ad mailers in your inbox.
friends are discussing their sex lives and all you do is nod.
12. It feels
like the morning after, but you’ve not done anything the night before.
13. Your secret
luggage pouch most likely just has your daily multi-vitamins.
actually sign up for the “Art of Living”
course. (Better still, you don’t mind spending your hard-earned vacation on a
yoga or a vipassana retreat.)
becomes a cardio workout for you.
16. You start
taking your laugh lines seriously.
17. You say things like, “You know that guy
who was in that movie we watched that day”.
18. You struggle
to keep up with all the chat acronyms and emoticons (your most popular emoticon
is a smilie, cos making sense of other emoticons is like giving an eye exam.)
19. You can not
bluff in poker because everyone knows what your poker face means and you can’t
change it, even if you try. (even withstanding Botox!)
friends call you a buddhi (oldie),
and you don’t have a good retort back.
21. The time it
takes to make up your face is more than the time it takes to make up your mind
about the dress to wear.
22. The clothes
you had put away until they come back in style, have actually “COME BACK” in
23. Your ideal
vacation spot becomes that relaxing beach resort in Florida. (with lots of books to keep you
24. You miss the
ladies night out to tuck in your child into bed. (without feeling sorry for
optometrist tries to convince you out of the lasik eye surgery. (And her
rationale being c’mon, you’ll be needing
26. The Body
Shop salesman insists that Nutriganics
is the way to go.
27. You have
started using phrases like “Yeh baal dhoop
mei safed nahi hue hai”* cos you actually can.
28. Your shades
are more for your eye bags than for your eyes.
29. At a family
gathering, you find more people touching your feet** than hugging you.
30. You nudge
your spouse about things like life insurance and will.
31. You don’t
start your resume with “x years of experience”.
fantasize about owning a farmland and actually farming on it.
actively seek out NGOs to volunteer at (even without the CSR mandate.)
34. You start making fun of your age. (Cos everyone else is scared to!)
35. You forgive
and FORGET (more easily).
36. You care
less about how you look but care more about how you’ll be looked upon.
start treasuring the people in your life more than the money in your bank.
start accepting people the way they are (and more importantly accepting
yourself the way you are.)
worry more about how you’ll make an impact than about how’ll make more money.
40. And of
course, whatever you do, you do end up getting wiser.
If you are not experiencing this, thank your stars and party
hard. The rest, make peace with it.
Think about it this way: You are just ahead of the game. The others will follow you soon.
*A popular Hindi quote meaning "Experience is what has made my hair white".
**a Hindu tradition of paying respect to elders.